Blood & Tears (Jane #3) Read online

  "Oh. I guess I thought we'd be more involved in that."

  He smiled at me, a genuine, warm smile spreading across his olive skin. "We're the brawn, not the brains in this operation, love."

  The way he addressed me through me for a loop. I looked at him sidelong as he opened the door to the dining room for me. His smile remained in place and he was clearly unaware of what he had just called me. I opened my mouth to say something. A warm feeling was spreading through my chest, down my arms, to the pit of my stomach. I decided not to ruin it and returned his smile.

  "No, dear. You're the brawn. I'm the beauty."

  I flipped my hair over my shoulder, stuck my nose in the air, and sauntered through the door. A deep, pleased laugh echoed from his chest and he followed me in.

  We headed toward our usual table, finding it occupied. Donna sat there, staring at the half-eaten food in front of her. Her fork idly pushed buttered peas around the plate. I seated myself next to her and Felipe sat across from us. She didn't notice us for several minutes, lost in her own world. I took the time to examine her—skin much paler than it should be, bottle of blood barely touched sitting cold on the table, make-up that looked days old, crumpled clothes, ragged hair, chewed nails. She was thinner than the last time I saw her, too.

  Donna rarely showed up at dinner anymore. When she did, she had little to say and she often left within half an hour of my arrival. The loss of her sister was affecting her and nothing I'd tried to that point could break through the utter depression that settled on her slim, beautiful shoulders.

  She didn't want to talk to me, and I didn't blame her. Before I arrived, she had been chasing after Felipe hardcore. He wasn't interested, but she wasn't willing to give up. But from the first time I met them, it was clear that Felipe favored me. And anyone with two eyes and half a brain could figure out that I was attracted to him. And that sucked, because Donna was the closest thing to a friend that I had, aside from Felipe. When she finally realized I was sitting next to her, she jumped, a look of irritation flowing across her face. She quickly covered it and gave me a small smile.

  "How are you?"

  "Fine." Her voice was soft and faint, like it had been for the last half a year. It held an undeniable level of sadness, one that belied her spoken statement. When she looked at me, I saw bags under her eyes. I didn't know if they were from lack of sleep or the sudden, unexpected loss of her sister.

  She cleared her throat and stood. "I need to get back to the shop."

  I waved goodbye and waited until she left before moving around the table to sit next to Felipe. "She hasn't been at the shop in a month. I stopped by the other night. Tammy said that she and Melinda had been essentially running it themselves. Donna's been MIA. And when she was there before, she didn't do anything and actually scared a couple customers off when she sat on the step by the door. One gave her some coins, thinking she was homeless."

  Felipe's forehead creased, his face a mixture of pity, grief, and hatred. "Put Donna on the list of reasons we need to find this rogue who's creating all these new vampires. He needs to suffer the way he's made everyone else suffer."

  I put my hand on Felipe's knee and he slipped his fingers into mine below the table. A boy came up and took our orders. When he was gone, Felipe pulled my hand out from under the table and kissed my skin. He looked at me, his lips parted slightly as if he wanted to say something but couldn't quite get the words to come out. I wanted desperately to say something, too, but I still hadn't figured out what it was.

  Steven had been my world, and I lost him in the most brutal way possible. Now here was Felipe, my best friend, my confidant, and the electricity that shot through my skin every time he touched me told me that I wanted him to be something more. But was I ready for that? I still didn't know. We had both signed up for this elite team, knowing that death was a strong possibility. How could I commit myself both physically and emotionally to Felipe knowing that any day, at any moment, we could lose each other forever?

  I was still contemplating this when the boy brought back our food. Felipe dropped my hand and we turned to our meal, relying on small talk and comfortable silence to break through the uneasiness of the encounter with Donna and our lack of guts to take it to the next level. Ado joined us and when we finished eating, we all headed to the lounge, where we relaxed in front of the television. Ado claimed control of the remote, which was always a scary thing, and we ended up watching reruns of Night Court until we lost track of all time. I fell asleep on the couch, my head resting on Felipe's shoulder, his arm around my waist. He fell asleep, too.

  When I woke up, we were stretched out on the couch. My head was on his chest, his arms wrapped tight around me. His breathing, soft and slow, brought a smile to my face and I dreaded the coming of the day. He must've sensed that I was awake because he stretched and yawned, running his fingers through my hair before sitting me up.

  "Morning, sunshine." He smiled sleepily, his mouth stretching wide in a yawn again.

  I smiled and nuzzled against him for a few minutes, blinking sleep from my eyes. He looked at his watch. "Time to get going."

  I moaned as he dragged me to my feet, but I let him pull me from the room. He walked me to my door, as had become his custom, and bid me farewell. I would see him in a couple hours, but he always acted like we would be separated for ages. It was a nice feeling and I let myself bask in it as I showered and readied myself for the coming day.

  THREE

  I didn't have anything to do after I showered and changed, so I took a book I'd found in the expansive sanctuary library and headed back to the lounge. Though a handful of vampires and quite a few humans lived in the sanctuary, the lounge, which Father Bellini called the "vamp hangout spot", was almost always empty whenever I went to use it. And if it wasn't empty, the only ones who were ever in there were Felipe, Ado, Ronin, or Donna (though not so much Donna as of late). So I was a bit surprised when I walked in and Annie was stretched out on the couch Felipe and I had been sleeping on, book in hand.

  I paused at the door, unsure of what to do. Annie was the supervisor of the vampire dormitory and she was responsible for getting me anything I needed. So far, all I'd had to ask her for was an alarm clock and some Bengay. When we passed in the halls, we were cordial, but there was an uncomfortable, almost chilly silence between us. I was pretty sure she hated me. But I waited too long before leaving and she looked up. The corners of her lips raised in an almost imperceptible smile and she waved a hand at me briefly. I returned the greeting and headed to the side of the room where my favorite reading chair awaited.

  This chair is the epitome of reading chairs. It's one of those that you might see at the garage sale of an old librarian lady or something. It was massive, though the seating area was actually quite small, and completely overstuffed—so much so that you could see a bit of stuffing poking through the worn seams. When you sat it the chair, you sank into oblivion, cradled by its cushiony love. The arms were wide and rounded, perfectly suited for draping one or both legs, and they were padded so you could sit sideways and be just as comfortable as you would otherwise.

  I plopped down, twisted around, put one leg over the arm and the other over the back so that I was laying with my head cushioned on the other arm and opened my book. From where I was sitting, I could see Annie and she could see me, but we both carefully avoided each other's glances. I bit my lip, wondering if I should attempt to make conversation, but then I decided against it. She looked interested in her book and I was interested in mine. I scanned the first page. This was an older book and had clearly been read numerous times. The pages were worn and yellowed by age, the cover was creased so badly the picture had flaked away, and I have no idea how the glue continued to hold the pages in place. I'd read my own version of the book several times, but my copy was currently in storage, thousands of miles away in the United States.

  "Lord of the Rings?"

  Her voice was so unexpected in the muted quiet of the lounge that I a
ctually jumped in my chair and dropped the book. I was glad my skin was still tanned from my time in Los Angeles or the color rising to my cheeks would have been even more noticeable. I leaned over and picked it up, the pages bent and crumpled from the fall.

  "Um, yeah. It's one of my favorites."

  Annie nodded, looking at me beneath her dark lashes. Her light brown hair cascaded around her shoulders as she studied my face. After a brief moment, she jerked almost imperceptibly and her eyes widened a bare fraction, as if she just realized she'd spoken to me. I'm sure if I had still been human, I never would've noticed. Her lips pressed together in a thin line and she lowered her eyes back to her book, apparently done with our conversation. I watched her for a full minute after that, but she took no more notice of me, so I went back to my book. I'd only read a page when she took a breath and ventured a few more soft words.

  "I've read it seventeen times." She gestured to the book when I looked up. "That's why it's so wrinkled. And page fifty-two is ripped. Sorry about that." She blushed, lowering her head.

  "It's alright. I've read it a bunch of times, too. My own copy is pretty beat up, but it's back in the States."

  "Oh, right. I heard you had stuff there."

  I nodded, not sure how or even if I should continue the conversation. Every time we spoke in the hall, it was awkward and weird. But she seemed to be interested in talking, and I didn't want to let the chance to get on her good side disappear like smoke in the wind, so I determined to press on.

  "Yeah. Steven and I left a bunch of stuff in storage when we went traveling. Which is probably a good thing, considering I would have lost everything when I got chased out of Russia..."

  She opened her mouth to respond, then shut it immediately. Her eyes probed mine, as if searching for the answer to a question. I could see her lips move very slightly, forming words that I couldn't read. After a few strange moments, she gritted her teeth, took a deep breath through her nose, then looked me directly in the face, her eyes intense.

  "How did he die?"

  The question startled me. I assumed everyone in the sanctuary knew that. News travels fast among vampires and secrets are extremely hard to keep. Hence the reason everyone assumed Felipe and I were dating, even though we weren't.

  "You don't know?" The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them. I flinched when I realized they sounded almost nasty.

  She shrugged, looking almost ashamed. "Someone in the hall said something about a mob, but I haven't heard anything else."

  I frowned, a sort of half pout kind of thing. Annie was a very important person in the vampire sanctuary. She was in charge of the dormitory, which was one of the most vital parts of the sanctuary. Was Father Bellini keeping something from her? I narrowed my eyes, examining Annie's face. If he didn't trust her, he would never have put her in the position she was in.

  "Yeah, it was a mob. We were living in a little town in Russia and they decided they didn't like us. When they found out he was a vampire, they freaked out. I was working at the local pub and he was at home when they decided the time had come for us to, uh, leave. Some men chased me and beat me. Before he could get there, one pulled a knife and slit my throat. I kind of passed out at that point, but Olga told me that he turned me. It left him so weak, he couldn't fight off the mob. They dragged him to the square, keeping him drugged up with coffee, and tied him to a post. When the sun came up..."

  My voice wavered before completely failing me. Tears were forming at the corners of my eyes as I relived the experience. My eyes were on the book in my hands, though the page was too blurred to read. I felt Annie kneel beside me and her warm fingers encircled mine. I gripped them gently and forced a smile. She had found a tissue somewhere and dabbed my eyes. After I'd composed myself, I turned to face her.

  "Did you know Steven well?"

  She shrugged again, a small, jerky movement. "Not really..."

  "But?" I could tell she wanted to say more. Though she didn't say it or show it on her face, there was a vibe around her that was begging for someone to let her speak.

  "I..." She looked at me, pleadingly. It was a baffling moment. I didn't know what she was asking for, but I nodded and made sure she knew I wanted to hear what she had to say. She took a deep breath, and continued, clutching at my fingers, her words rushed and desperate as if they'd been cooped up in solitary confinement for way too long and were finally allowed the chance to run free.

  "I saw him whenever he came here. Before he met you, that was quite a lot. We didn't talk much, but when we did... He had a way of making me feel like I was the only girl in the world, you know? Like I mattered and he cared what I had to say. No one ever does that. Not even Joe. Steven would sit with me in here and we would just talk. Though, I guess I did most of the talking. He knew more about me than anyone else. I don't know why it was so easy to talk to him. Maybe it was because he never made me feel stupid for anything I said or acted like I was wasting his time."

  She got quiet for a moment, her fingers loosening their grip on mine a bit. "The last time he came, though, we didn't really talk. He was only here for two days and he spent most of the time with Joe. I wanted to talk to him so badly, but he was too busy. And then he married you and never came back."

  The last held no accusation, no anger. It was pure, unadulterated defeat. She felt she had lost the game and it was no one's fault but her own. No tears streaked her face, but I could tell that she had cried plenty over Steven, and not just for his death.

  "I'm sorry," I whispered.

  The gasp that escaped her lips almost made me grin. She had completely forgotten who she was talking to. Shaking her head, she removed her hands from mine and placed them in her lap. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. It's mine. I grew too attached. I do that a lot."

  I reached down and took her hand back. "It's not your fault. We all do it. I've had my share of unrequited loves, too. Not that your love was misguided. If I hadn't come into the picture, who knows what would have happened with you and Steven."

  There was another awkward silence between us, but it wasn't as loaded and uncomfortable as they had been before. A barrier had been broken down and I could feel the trickle of friendship making its way through. I decided to risk it and ask her something very personal.

  "How did you end up here? And in charge of the dormitory, no less?"

  Her soft locks bounced as she raised her head and smiled at me. "Funny story, really. I used to live in Texas a few decades ago. I—"

  I held up a hand. "Wait a minute. A few decades? You don't look more than twenty-five, and you're not a vampire. I've seen you leave during the day."

  She grinned, her smile stretching literally from ear to ear. I'd never see such an expression on her face, but it was such a look of pure joy that at that very moment I made it my life's mission to see that she smiled a true, unencumbered smile as much as possible. "Let me finish, silly."

  I held up my hands again, but this time in surrender. "Alright, it's your story. Please, continue."

  "So," she said as she scooted around on the floor, getting more comfortable. "I was in Texas, going to college. I've always been really shy, so I didn't go out much at night. But one night, Dr. Zhivago was playing at the theater, so I went. It's always been one of my favorite books, and I adore the movies, too. It was dark outside when it finished. I took the long way home so I didn't have to walk through any of the alleys that were so scary at night." She laughed a little, bitter laugh. "Didn't do me much good, I guess. I was almost home when I was attacked. I don't remember much about it. I know there were two or three men, but I don't know what they did. I don't think I want to know. All I remember is waking up on the ground. My clothes were torn. I couldn't move. I knew I was dying. I could feel my heart failing and I couldn't breathe well enough for it to do any good. I saw a shadow beside me and felt a hand on my cheek before I passed out again.

  "When I woke up, I was home again. The sun was shining on my face from the curtain my mom
had opened and I felt like it was all a bad dream. I had a few bruises and my muscles were sore, but nothing major seemed to be wrong, so I had breakfast with my parents as usual and went to school.

  I was sitting in my room that night when Victoria showed up at my window. She told me what happened—that I'd been beaten almost to death, that my neck had been broken and my lungs were pierced, that she was a vampire and had given me her blood. I didn't believe her. Why would I? I didn't feel like a vampire. I felt fine. I had been out in the sun and though I did start to burn quicker than normal, it wasn't anything extreme. So I told her to leave and she did.

  "Weeks went by and I noticed little things that seemed different. I could hear better, see better. I was stronger. The sun seemed brighter and did hurt a bit more than it used to. I felt hungry no matter how much I ate. You know how when you want something specific to eat but can't figure out what it is, you have that craving that sits in the back of your mouth? Or maybe it's your brain." She paused, thinking that over for a moment before shrugging. "Anyway, I knew something was wrong. And I suspected Victoria had something to do with it.

  "Late one night, I snuck out of my house and went to the park. I had a feeling that she had been watching me, so I hoped she'd show up, and she did. I told her all the things I'd noticed. She nodded, then bit her wrist and shoved it in my face. You can understand how shocked I was. I mean, why would anyone bite their own wrist, much less try to force someone else to smell it? But once I did smell it, I knew what I was craving. Before I knew what I was doing, I latched on and drank. Victoria stayed in Texas with me most of the time while I finished school, teaching me about vampires, and then when I graduated, I moved here."

  She stopped and looked up from the floor.

  "Wait, so you're a vampire who can stand the sun?"

  "Half-vampire. The Fathers think it's because Victoria didn't drain me. I would likely have died if she didn't do anything and I had to have been close enough for the blood to take over, but they think I wasn't as close to death as is standard for a vampire to be turned. So I'm vampire, but not as strong as you guys are, and I can be in the sun for a bit before it hurts too much."